I stayed away from blogging for a long time. It's not that I have nothing to write but actually I was going through lot of fight. fight with myself . with my faith. some times I fell & really didn't have any guts to talk about God who is holy. some times I went through the lane of lack.that made me loose all my confidence to talk about the God who provides.
For me God is real. He sees. He hears. He knows.
He is more real to me than what I see.
But if I don't experience the same in my professional& personal lives...what good is my faith?
Jesus once said " Ask& it shall be given unto you. seek& you'll find. Knock! & it shall be opened for you. ! everyone who ask shall receive!" what a promise! & who said that? none other than my God. to whom? to everyone who believes. i.e to me.
Looking at Him I fight this battle. As someone with "eyes that dream" I'm seldom practical. Sometime I take decisions that would look crazy for anyone with common sense. But I take those decisions with lot of conviction& belief in God of impossible things. But most of the times those decisions I take professionally& personally, put me under tremendous financial& psychological stress. I end up being pushed against the wall. surrounded from all sides. but as someone who has "lot of experience with God" I don't really care. I know my redeemer would rescue me in the right time. But sometimes He chooses not to. & end up being in real trouble.
I ask Him- He doesn't answer.
I pray I don't even know whether He's listening.
you see, I'm not praying to an Idol. to a lifeless thing. I'm praying to the living God. so I press on. on & on. But things don't change. Mountains don't move. & I end being frustrated.
I keep questioning myself. is it my fault that i take my God too seriously?
I keep thinking If only I could behave a little smart& less spiritual...I would've been safe!
But why does God allow in His people's lives... pain? failure??& trouble???
I think I have an answer& I hope it's right.
Following Christ is not a "happy go lucky" thing. the way it's shown on those charismatic miracle working gospel meetings!
God is not magician. Even Jesus when He was moving on the earth, refused to do miracles on demand.
whenever He did a miracle, it was purely because of His love for those people. Because he was moved by their pitiable conditions, their tears.
what is God then?
God is our father.
Father, who doesn't give everything we want but everything that's good for us.
Father, who wants to perfect us. who wants to shape us to be like Him one day.
He want to refine us so that we shine like gold one day.
He doesn't just want us to be prosperous& rich like ambanis so that we can drop few cores in His hundi. But He want us to "grow"" to look for riches beyond this earth.
He got a plan for our lives. a plan that's not "instant yoga" but a process.
Who want to join the camp?
wait...he doesn't even take everyone that comes forward. only those whom He loves.
look what He has done with Abraham, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, David, Peter...
the list goes on. Those whom God chose to shape. chose to train. They were out of their homes, out of their land. They travelled like nomads. they were hunted! chased! sometimes hungry, sometimes naked...they hid in caves& lived in deserts along with dangerous people.
What a path!
whoever thought that Christianity would give money, prosperity& all things beautiful, are just fooled.
Here lies a narrow path. A path of fire. But it will lead you to eternal Joy. it will give you riches that would never fade! It'll give you the eternal joy of being in the presence of God!
& in this world, through trials& tribulations, through lack& longing... it gives you hope.
Hope of having God with us.
it gives us Immanuel!
What do i do now? surrounded from all side...
Looking unto You my God...I fight this battle!
