what does Bible say about these rich fools...

6 Now godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain[a] we can carry nothing out. 8 And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. 9 But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. 1 timothy 6:6


సంతుష్థి సహితమైన దైవభక్తి గొప్ప లాభ సాధనమై యున్నది. మనమెలోకములోకి ఏమియూ తేలేదు, దీనిలోనుండి ఏమియూ తీసుకుని పోలేము. కాగా అన్నవస్త్రములు గలవారమై యుండి వాటితో త్రుప్తి పొందియుందము. ధనవంతులగుటకు ఆపేక్షించువారు శోధనలోను, ఉరిలోను, అవివేకయుక్తములును హానికరములైన అనేక దురాశల్లోను పడుదురు. అట్తివి మనుష్యులను నష్తములోను నాశనములోను ముంచివేయును.ఎందుకనగా ధనాపేక్ష సమస్తమైన కీడులకు మూలము.కొందరు దానిని ఆశించి విశ్వాసము నుండి తొలిగిపోయి నానా బాధలతో తమను తామే పొడుచుకొనిరి. 1తిమోతి 6:6

How Jo learnt to count his blessings

The other day Jo& I were driving back from our badminton court. on our way a man with a disfigured face crossed us. He looked odd in the midst of normal looking people. I felt bad looking at him, & remembered an old Hindi song that goes like this.

दुनिया में कितना ग़म है ...मेरा ग़म कितना कम है !

I asked Jo..Jo, do you know the meaning of this song ?

he said "no. what does that mean?"

" It means...there's so much of pain in this world... that when I compare my grief with it ...mine is nothing!"

Jo said " very true. I've realised it some time back". & he shared his this experience from his life.

"last year I was going through tough times in my life. I lost my job. & was idle for many months. I attended interviews but couldn't get through. I was disappointed but still had the faith. After few months even call letters for interviews stopped. My bank balance was becoming Nil & I started panicking. I was running out of hope. Everyday I used to pray. & believe His help is on way. but in vain. It was a test of my faith. as being a christian, I can't doubt God's existence. Then the problem is with my faith. it was really tough to come to a realisation that my faith is not good enough to get His attention. I was frustrated& tired of this process.

On one of those days, on a Saturday, I finished my quite time & was getting ready to go to worship practice. I got dressed up & to pick up my bag I bent down& suddenly I sneezed. & that's it! I couldn't move. My back got a terrible sprain..lying down in the corner of my room I was calling for help. My room mate came running but couldn't find me for sometime. finally when he found me lying down, he tried to lift me up but couldn't carry me. some how he managed to put me on my bed. &The next one week - I was lying down on that bed being not able to stand up on my feet.

I just couldn't believe what happened. all did was sneezing& I ended up in the bed arrested. it was painful yet funny. But as I was lying in that bed all alone in that room I've realised one thing. all these days I've been complaining to God that He didn't give me what I wanted. But never realised the value of the gifts He gave me. He gave me Health. there are many people out there who got riches but not health. I've realised I need to be thankful for what He gave me rather than having bitterness against Him for what He didn't .

When my church friends came to know that I'm bed ridden coz of sneezing, my room was full of visitors. Everyday somebody would come to see me. They would try to cheer me, pray for me. On Sunday the entire church was at my place. They prayed, gave me a massage& found a physiotherapist who helped me to get back out of the bed on my feet. wow! looking at them I've realised one more gift God gave me- Friends! I'm not alone!!. this revelation changed the way I looked at my situation. it gave me a new hope& God in His time gave me a job which is better than my previous job in many ways. "

Joseph finished talking. But it left me thinking. if we only have the right perspective of God, we won't get desperate& frustrated! All we need to know is to- "count our blessings...name them one by one! & we will be surprised at what the Lord has done!"

Amen!

do you love me?

do you still love me?

I asked her in the phone. "I can't tell you whether I still love you or not" she answered. it was 12th July 1998. After coming out of the telephone booth I caught a bus to Hyderabad. As the bus was zooming towards Hyderabad, I remembered the letters she wrote saying how much she loved me& the hours I wasted sitting beside my window looking for her. The pain I gave my parents by ignoring my studies& the insults I bore loosing my self respect.

Do you love me?
this question kept coming back in my life. the answers were different. "

some said "I don't know whether it's love or not!"

some said" yes I used to.but..."

some were really embarrassed when I used to be possessive with them in a group of friends. it's like.."c'mon, why do u want it to be public?"

years passed. my quest for love never ended. this thirst for some one who loves me despite my failure. despite my weaknesses. despite my drawbacks. for a love that wouldn't change. That wouldn't lessen with time. A love that is wouldn't fear. A love that wouldn't be ashamed of a public demonstration!

Couldn't find a single one. oh..what a hypocritical world! What a calculative minds!! what a manipulative talks!!!

tired of them. Tired of the way the world loves!

That's when I realised the greatness of my Redeemer's love.
He loved me when I was still a failure. He loved me when I was deserted by everyone. He loved me when my mind was still filled with filthiest thoughts. He loved me when I was still dirty.

But He loved me when I needed love the most.

He loved me& that's not where it ends. He paid a price for my redemption. He lifted me from the dirt& cleansed me with His blood. He took my shame, my guilt, my filth & threw it away never to be remembered.

does it end there?

my Redeemer, my True love - displayed His love for me in the public. He was not ashamed to be spat on, to be stripped, slapped, whipped& to be nailed!

All for me. All to tell me- that He loves me! That He loves me more than heavens, more than Glory, More than He loved Himself!!
He was not ashamed to hang on the cross publicly, openly so the whole universe knows!
that

HE LOVES ME!

Finally... I found Love. This valentines day- I'm not empty hearted. my heart is overflowing with Love. with grattitude. i'm in a awe of my True love's beauty! I'm happy!!

letter from God's training camp

I stayed away from blogging for a long time. It's not that I have nothing to write but actually I was going through lot of fight. fight with myself . with my faith. some times I fell & really didn't have any guts to talk about God who is holy. some times I went through the lane of lack.that made me loose all my confidence to talk about the God who provides.

For me God is real. He sees. He hears. He knows.
He is more real to me than what I see.

But if I don't experience the same in my professional& personal lives...what good is my faith?
Jesus once said " Ask& it shall be given unto you. seek& you'll find. Knock! & it shall be opened for you. ! everyone who ask shall receive!" what a promise! & who said that? none other than my God. to whom? to everyone who believes. i.e to me.

Looking at Him I fight this battle. As someone with "eyes that dream" I'm seldom practical. Sometime I take decisions that would look crazy for anyone with common sense. But I take those decisions with lot of conviction& belief in God of impossible things. But most of the times those decisions I take professionally& personally, put me under tremendous financial& psychological stress. I end up being pushed against the wall. surrounded from all sides. but as someone who has "lot of experience with God" I don't really care. I know my redeemer would rescue me in the right time. But sometimes He chooses not to. & end up being in real trouble.
I ask Him- He doesn't answer.
I pray I don't even know whether He's listening.
you see, I'm not praying to an Idol. to a lifeless thing. I'm praying to the living God. so I press on. on & on. But things don't change. Mountains don't move. & I end being frustrated.

I keep questioning myself. is it my fault that i take my God too seriously?
I keep thinking If only I could behave a little smart& less spiritual...I would've been safe!
But why does God allow in His people's lives... pain? failure??& trouble???

I think I have an answer& I hope it's right.

Following Christ is not a "happy go lucky" thing. the way it's shown on those charismatic miracle working gospel meetings!
God is not magician. Even Jesus when He was moving on the earth, refused to do miracles on demand.
whenever He did a miracle, it was purely because of His love for those people. Because he was moved by their pitiable conditions, their tears.

what is God then?

God is our father.
Father, who doesn't give everything we want but everything that's good for us.
Father, who wants to perfect us. who wants to shape us to be like Him one day.
He want to refine us so that we shine like gold one day.
He doesn't just want us to be prosperous& rich like ambanis so that we can drop few cores in His hundi. But He want us to "grow"" to look for riches beyond this earth.
He got a plan for our lives. a plan that's not "instant yoga" but a process.

Who want to join the camp?
wait...he doesn't even take everyone that comes forward. only those whom He loves.
look what He has done with Abraham, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, David, Peter...
the list goes on. Those whom God chose to shape. chose to train. They were out of their homes, out of their land. They travelled like nomads. they were hunted! chased! sometimes hungry, sometimes naked...they hid in caves& lived in deserts along with dangerous people.

What a path!
whoever thought that Christianity would give money, prosperity& all things beautiful, are just fooled.
Here lies a narrow path. A path of fire. But it will lead you to eternal Joy. it will give you riches that would never fade! It'll give you the eternal joy of being in the presence of God!

& in this world, through trials& tribulations, through lack& longing... it gives you hope.
Hope of having God with us.
it gives us Immanuel!

What do i do now? surrounded from all side...

Looking unto You my God...I fight this battle!

Carry your faith in your pocket!

I look at the sky & look for some sign from God through the clouds. I do my quite time, read my Bible carefully& wait for a word from Him. I wait for some one to call me& tell me "check ur bank account!" in vain. some times out of frustration I shout " God ! I need you to do something! I can't handle this anymore!". But my God is silent. Doesn't He see what I'm going through? Doesn't He know my needs? Then why is He silent?

I remember a verse from Isaiah, which I don't remember exactly but it goes something like this..

" My hand is not shortened that I can not save you

nor My ears became numb that I cannot hear you"

I know Lord! I know all that stuff. But then why you are not intervening?

I know what's wrong. My faith is not working!

FAITH! FAITH! FAITH!

I go out in rain, looking at the sky I say " in the name of my God, STOP!" but it doesn't. I come back to my home drenched.

I look at the water tap in my office, knowing very well that there's a problem with the motor & there's no water in the tank, I say " water, COME!". It doesn't!

what's wrong? why did He say " if you have faith as small as mustard seed...you can order the mountain to be moved& thrown in the sea, & it will be done" then? Is my faith, not even as big(?) as a mustard seed? knowing that is not going to help my morale.

God....ARE YOU LISTENING? THIS "FAITH" THING YOU GAVE ME, IS NOT WORKING! It's only making me look like a fool.

I know what He'll be saying. "Faith" is not some kind of feeling! It's not looking at something with magician like a look on your face & ordering it imitating God's voice you hear in the movies!

What is this "FAITH" then Sir?

Faith is a seed that got to be nurtured. It's a strength that got to be exercised, regularly.

Faith is the outcome of a continuous fellowship with Mr perfect! i.e God!

Where's your faith? He asked His disciples once. & they mumbled. They forgot to carry that thing that morning!

Or being the close buddies of the God Himself, they never needed to apply faith that it got "rusted!"

Same thing happened with me. Yes, He gave me faith in the initial days of salvation& showed me how it works!

But then, as time passed by, I stopped applying it. stopped exercising it.

& after some time, two villains came into my life.

Villain no. 1: Money!

Money started doing almost everything that my " faith " was doing previously.& it's easy too. But the only difference is, money starts decreasing when you start using. But faith increases the more you put it to use.

& the villain no. 2: those contacts that come with success.

All I had to do is browse through my phone book & see who can help me in what. Just a call away! & oh, Josh! how can you forget even your God is just a call away! & you don't even be in debt of a help to your heavenly Father.

& that's how my friends, My faith got rusted. It got fragile! & It's not working anymore!

But I know, If I seek Him, He would be found. & He would help my faith again.

So, here I am. Exercising my faith. want to get back what I've lost, at any cost. even if needs me to wake up at 4 in the morning& meditate on His word, the way I used to do in the initial days of my salvation.

Friends...do you have faith? Then that's all you need! protect it. Use it when troubles, tribulations& challenges come. Exercise it!& it will grow. carry it with you everyday...to you work, in your journeys, where ever you go.

It's the weapon God gave us, do not let it rust!

It's a gift He gave us. do not let it waste!

remembering grand dad Nehemiah..

God's ways are mysterious! I remember that one dialogue from from the movie "Forest Gump" . In child hood Forest has croocked legs . He could not walk properly. He looked like a nerd to other kids with his oily, combed hair, spectacles& innocent looks. In his school, he was always the easy target for bullies. But before seeing of his son to the school bus, Mrs Gump always used to tell his son, "never let anyone tell you you are not normal!", "never let them tell you that you are stupid!" .
One reason I liked that movie so much was, there are people like that in my life too, that always told me I'm good for nothing. That I shouldn't be aiming big. But just like Mrs Gump kept on encouraging her son, God kept on telling me "u can". He kept on telling me "you are not ordinary. You are special!". At that time I didn't get acquainted with Him much. So I never really bothered to listen to what He was trying to tell me in the church or through Bible . I never paid attention. So He had to use some force.& Made me listen what He wants to say. This is how it happened.

When I failed my intermediate& stayed at home( I was one of the class toppers till my 10th standard, JFYI), all I used to do was to play cricket with neighbourhood kids in our front yard throughout the day. Like all the teenagers, I had many distractions. I used to go to church, never listened the sermon. Sitting there I used to doodle in my note book lost in my own world. Many preachers used to come to my place, who used to prophecy great future for me. I used to enjoy the prophetic word but when they used to try to make me pray...I somehow used to escape.

After few days, there is this old man who started coming to our tenants house. His name was Nehemiah. We used to call him Nehemiah tatayya( grand dad). He's a retired teacher& now very old. He couldn't see, he couldn't read. He used to come from quite some distance walking. Some of his relatives used to drop him in our tenant's place around 10 ó clock & pick him by 1. What does he used to do in these three hours? Listen to Bible. He would find one of the kids& made him read Psalms. From Psalms 1 to psalms 50 or Psalms 50 to psalms 119. . It can just go on. Initially all I was loosing was just one kid from my team. We still used to manage to play. But very soon all kids were scared of him& they used to run away just by the sight of him. So there's nobody to do the reading. & Because my mom had great respect for him& because she doesn't have any for my feelings, she pushed me to do the reading. So...here I was, sitting in front of him reluctantly. Trying to show all my displeasure through the way I sit, through the way I flip the pages, through the tone in which I read( I used to show it in my expressions also, but has he couldn't see, it was of no use) ...I used to give all the kind of hints, just make him understand I'm not happy. But he? He's lost in listening to the psalms. His face, filled with some inexpressible joy! as if he's listening to a great music or great poetry sitting on the banks of a beautiful lake filled with lotuses on a tranquil evening!(?). It's like as if he's saying to himself, "this is life!". It used to be such a painful never ending session for me.. especially when it's Psalms 119. I was like.AAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHH.......in myself. Finally, when somebody used to come to take him back, I used to say "thank god!"". (No, I'm not saying that's how I got close to God!) .

It went on for days, weeks & months. Though it was lot of pain initially, I got used to it later. & some of the verses I could even memorise. & gradually I was not that rude to that old man, but he never cared anyway.

Time was rolling& got even deeper into the pit of failures. Everyone is unhappy with me now. Everyone in my family want a miracle to happen & me to be a success in my studies overnight! They were under pressure in the social circle because I am a failure& they started pressurising me. Nobody wanted to know my problem. nobody wanted to know what I was going through. They could use harsh words, make me feel lonely to make me realize my rsponsibility. But that only made my situation worse. All my friends disowned me & moved on. Relatives, loved ones, everyone...started looking at me as if I've committed some kind of crime. & I got broken. My confidence was shattered. I looked lost. Behind the closed doors of my room, I used to cry, sob, weep& curse myself. My failures looked endless& My life....looked hopeless. But in such a terrible situation, in my lonliness, at the verge of breaking up, suddenly some words used to pop into my mind. something like "For You have delivered my soul from death,
My eyes from tears,
And my feet from falling.".
or something like They looked to Him and were radiant And their faces were not ashamed.
& All of a sudden I used to find a new hope in those verses. I used to tell myself "don't give up, don't give up. "& take my text book & start struggling with my maths again. Slowly& gradually I started understanding His language. Little by little, I started hiding myself in His bossom. & my God, gathered me under His wings& as sis. Ivangeline Duke puts it, took me on a flight.

I understood how God speaks. A right verse from Bible in the exact time when I need it. But it was Nehemiah tatayya who trained me to memorise them. & Even today, when suddenly an apt verse pops up in my mind when I really need Him to speak, I remember Nehemiah tatayya, the old man who couldn't see, but who showed me the "WAY"& thank him. He is no more now, but he is always in my memories.

p s: I'm with you.

O Lord, how manifold are your works!

psalms 104: 24

యెహోవా, నీ కార్యములు ఎన్నెన్ని విధములుగానున్నవి!

కీర్తనలు 104:24

On 6th of July, 2010 God blessed me with a baby girl. I have to confess that I never really cared when some of my friends used to call me saying "I'm blessed with a son/ daughter". In fact, I never thought it's a big deal. Till I saw what my wife went through& how God is involved throughout her pregnancy & delivery.

I know my God from past 15 years. isn't that quite some time?In these 15 years, I knew Him as a friend who stood by me when every one else left me. A comforter who wiped my tears& gave me Hope. I knew Him as a teacher who taught me things that I never imagined I would be able to do. But still, even today,after all these years, He still surprises me with His love which is so personal. So real! In situations which look so out side the book( the Bible), in which God doesn't seem to be having any experience(?), He shows forth Himself& says I AM! Might be time & again He looks at me from heaven& says "O ye of little faith!"

What can I say about my God? His love makes me smile! His love makes tears fill my eyes!

Ruth found she was pregnant sometime in October 2009. She was idle in her organization for almost 9 months or more by that time. The I.T industry was going through tough time. The recession hit many peoples lives. Many lost jobs. If you are "on bench", you are in trouble. There was lot of stress she was going through as all she got to do was, go to the office, sit there till evening, watch others being busy with work& feel rejected. She was trying with all her friend& managers for projects. But the situation was hopeless. We were praying, real hard. I used to ask "God what's happening? Are you listening?". Then I think in the month of August, the company gave her an offer for six months. come to office twice a week, get half your salary. & after that six months, if you still fail to get a project, you are out. That was better, but that also meant the time is ticking. But the good thing about that offer was, we had more time to spend with each other. Otherwise in that one year of our wedding, we were always rushing. We never had quality time together. Once again I failed to comprehend God's plan. In these 10 months we could spend much time with each other. In October Ruth realised she was pregnant & in November she got a project!

Pregnancy was a great joy for Ruth initially. But by the time it was 7th month, it was very demanding! There were lot of mood swings& we used to quarrel over simple things. It was tough for me to understand what she was going through as even I was going through a rough patch in my profession . In the initial days of her pregnancy I used to drop her on my bike as both of us are new to drive our car. Then she started driving to her office in the car& by sixth month, I used to drop her in her office & go to my boutique in the car. We both learnt to drive after buying a brand new car& have absolutely no experience of driving till then. I'm saying this just to testify how God protected both of us & how His timing is just perfect!

In the seventh month, she moved to her hometown to be with her parents. I thought she'll enjoy the leisure& feast on great food. But she found the atmosphere completely different. She started feeling lonely there& the summer 2010 was terrible. It was sultry through out the day& she couldn't stand some of the dance reality shows on T.V that were watched in her house in the night. She used to call me & she used to sound terrible. I used to visit her as frequently as possible. & All we could do was to PRAY. As the ninth month got completed there were new problems. The date given by the doctors was 28th June. But there were no signs of pains. We went to the doctor, she said the baby's head didn't even get into it's position for delivery. Then we waited till 1st July, there were no pains. Ruth started getting desperate. Every evening she used to walk vigorously to initiate the pains but there was no sign. Some of her friends started advising her to go for a Cesarean as it's less painful(?)& as anyhow there's no sign of pains. & some started saying, you must have made a mistake in counting the days. Ruth was getting restless by all this& she was tired. When we went to the doctor on 3rd July, she asked her to come after two days & get admitted . Which means by normal or Cesarean, the baby would be out by 5th. All these days my prayer was "God, give her a normal delivery. I don't want a blade to be used on her body. But God, don't let the pains be so painful. Please give her a easy delivery." One night after I finished praying for Ruth such a prayer, she started arguing with me saying, "why are you praying for a normal delivery?" I said "coz, that's how God wants it to be in Bible. isn't it? She started saying" no, you pray, God let it be according to your will. but don't pray "give her a normal delivery". you don't understand how painful it's going to be"!. I said "OK. as you wish." On 5th morning we went to see the doctor. Ruth went in & the first thing she said to the doctor was, "doctor, do a Cesarean& get the baby out. I can't wait anymore." & the Doctor checked her & said "don't worry. 'It's going to be a normal delivery" & got Ruth admitted .

She sat on the bed. slowly she started feeling minor pains. By the evening the intensity of the pains increased& so is the frequency. I sat beside her& started reading some of my favourite verses from "song of songs" from Bible. The pains increased but they weren't unbearable. We both were alone as her parents went home to get food& other necessary things. we both kept praying.

I don't remember when was the last time God listened to my prayer& did a miracle. or I must have lost my sense of wonder to recognise His miracles. Last one year has been such a stress in work, such a pressure together as a family we went through. so many times I asked for a miracle, something astounding, like what He did for His people in wilderness. But i did not see any. Sometimes I used to tell myself, "don't pressurise yourself& God for a miracle. He loves you. believe that & move on." But now, I need a miracle. Nothing else would do. We prayed as if He's standing in front of us. We prayed as that's the only thing we could do. It was 10 in the night. & I can't stay there with her in the night. Ruth's mom came to stay with her& I came back home. When I called her around 11:30, Ruth spoke & said she's alright though the pains have increased. I prayed again & slept. Around 5 in the morning, there was a call from Ruth's mom to start up immediately to the hospital as Ruth got shifted to he labour room. We reached hospital in 20 minutes. On my way to the hospital i was telling myself that I would be beside Ruth as she goes through the pains. I remember my sister telling me the other day that if the pains are minor, it can take even two days. Me& Ruth's dad reached the hospital. As he was parking his vehicle, I went into the hospital. The hospital was empty& as I was walking towards the labour room, I heard the cry of a baby. A thought came into my mind, Is she mine? But then I thought it can't be so soon. I saw Ruth's mom standing outside the room& I thought I heard Ruth's voice saying ""show her to Josh!". I asked "aunty?" She looked lost& suddenly said "don't go in!". I thought it's not mine& started walking back. Ruth's dad came almost running & aunty said "it's baby girl!".He came to me & started shaking my hands saying "congrats!" But I was in a shock. They got the baby out to clean. I stood outside the room & asked Ruth, "chinnee are you alright?" she said "yes"". I saw the baby. I couldn't decide at that time whether she was beautiful or not. Whether she resembled me or her, whether she's dusky or fair. I was in no mood to judge. All I knew at that time was that- in front of me is a miracle! "Life" breathed by none other than God the creator Himself. A handiwork of the master crafts man. What can I say? I was spellbound. The Almighty God, compelled by love, listened to the prayers of a sinner like me & answered with a miracle! A normal delivery, comparatively an easy delivery. What else can I ask for? Isn't His timing the perfect& His ways...the most beautiful& incomprehensible?

sitting there in the lobby quietly, I remembered a verse from Bible.

7 “For what great nation is there that has God so near to it, as the LORD our God is to us, for whatever reason we may call upon Him?. Deuteronomy 4:7

...మనము ఆయనకు మొర్ర పెట్టునెప్పుడెల్ల మన దేవుడైన యెహోవా మనకు సమీపముగానున్నట్టు మరి ఏ గొప్ప జనమునకు ఏ దేవుడు సమీపముగా ఉన్నాడు? . ద్వితీయోపదేశకాండము 4:7